The Angry Potato: The Short Story
Nice I can't wait to turn into a big potato!
But you're already a potato!
Yeah but not like a big potato. Right now i'm like a little potato who hangs out down here I want to become a big potato
Okay well fine but when is the end? How do you know that you're big enough?
Shut up and let me soak up this water
Hey man you okay? All you've been doing lately is sitting in the ground and soaking up water and shit
Yeah dude it's great to see you tell our other potato friends I say hi and that i'm really busy
Ok man. I just hope you're enjoying our time in the ground you know? There are so many vegetables and weeds, a bird shit on Brian last week and you were too busy soaking up water to see it. It was hilarious. He had to wait for like 3 days until it rained to get it off of him. That whole no arms things really sets our kind back but lets not get into that discussion again.
Brian got shit on yeah yeah I saw that on Instagram. Okay I have to get back to the groundwater now see you dude
I don't think you're getting my point man. There's so much more to life than groundwater and you never know what happens after we get pulled out of the ground. I could be all over dude.
Yeah but maybe we just become some sort of potato seed again.
Do you really want to risk it? What if we just get throw in an oven like Lisa's Aunt.
Dude that's all rumor. Nobody gets thrown in an oven. I heard Lisa's Aunt was a freak. And she had that hole in here from the worm attack of '08 so you never really know if she's thinking straight
Dude was does thinking straight even mean? Do you listen to the words coming out of your mouth?
Yo you keep interrupting my groundwater time. I have to get back to work
Whatever man. You used to be fun. I remember when we met that tomato seed and you were so cool and honest. You and her were such a great match idk why you stopped talking to her
Because I had work dude
Yeah but she was ready to marry you and you loved her
She was just another tomato seed bro
Not cool man. I know you care about her
If you're not here to help me grow into a fat ass potato you can leave
Okay man. I just don't want you to spend all your time trying to grow only to realize that you've been a potato the whole time
Fuck you. You can't stop me
Narrator: HAND COMES DOWN AND GRABS LARGEST POTATO AND PLACES INTO BASKET
Yo JIM! JIM! What the fuck somebody just came and took JIM!
Old Rotten Potato: I seent many good seedlings go his way. Hey maybe he'll end up in an oven at Goldman Sacks
But you're already a potato!
Yeah but not like a big potato. Right now i'm like a little potato who hangs out down here I want to become a big potato
Okay well fine but when is the end? How do you know that you're big enough?
Shut up and let me soak up this water
Hey man you okay? All you've been doing lately is sitting in the ground and soaking up water and shit
Yeah dude it's great to see you tell our other potato friends I say hi and that i'm really busy
Ok man. I just hope you're enjoying our time in the ground you know? There are so many vegetables and weeds, a bird shit on Brian last week and you were too busy soaking up water to see it. It was hilarious. He had to wait for like 3 days until it rained to get it off of him. That whole no arms things really sets our kind back but lets not get into that discussion again.
Brian got shit on yeah yeah I saw that on Instagram. Okay I have to get back to the groundwater now see you dude
I don't think you're getting my point man. There's so much more to life than groundwater and you never know what happens after we get pulled out of the ground. I could be all over dude.
Yeah but maybe we just become some sort of potato seed again.
Do you really want to risk it? What if we just get throw in an oven like Lisa's Aunt.
Dude that's all rumor. Nobody gets thrown in an oven. I heard Lisa's Aunt was a freak. And she had that hole in here from the worm attack of '08 so you never really know if she's thinking straight
Dude was does thinking straight even mean? Do you listen to the words coming out of your mouth?
Yo you keep interrupting my groundwater time. I have to get back to work
Whatever man. You used to be fun. I remember when we met that tomato seed and you were so cool and honest. You and her were such a great match idk why you stopped talking to her
Because I had work dude
Yeah but she was ready to marry you and you loved her
She was just another tomato seed bro
Not cool man. I know you care about her
If you're not here to help me grow into a fat ass potato you can leave
Okay man. I just don't want you to spend all your time trying to grow only to realize that you've been a potato the whole time
Fuck you. You can't stop me
Narrator: HAND COMES DOWN AND GRABS LARGEST POTATO AND PLACES INTO BASKET
Yo JIM! JIM! What the fuck somebody just came and took JIM!
Old Rotten Potato: I seent many good seedlings go his way. Hey maybe he'll end up in an oven at Goldman Sacks
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